At times I feel as though I am a GPS system trying to re-calibrate itself but not getting any signal with which to do so. So here I sit...just blank.
Blank with no clue where to move my chess piece next.
When this happens, I tend to crawl into my hole & think. A lot.
During this thinking process, this morning in fact, I realized something. I have been praying that God's truths would become very real to me. That His truths would in fact shape my view of life on earth rather than life here determining my views of God. And I have been asking Him to make me dependent on Him...as I am so often a very independent kind of gal.
And it hit me...
My feelings of "loss of direction" are most likely the first steps in the process of my prayers being answered. It is when I have no clarity in myself that I am FORCED to depend on the one who made me. Oh, that my heart might depend on Him all the time, not simply when I'm left with no other option.
In truth, all things depend on Him...
"The earth is the Lord's and the fullness of thereof, the world and those who dwell therein..." Ps. 24:1
"These all look to you, to give them their food in due season. When you give it to them, they gather it up; when you open your hand, they are filled with good things. When you hide your face, they are dismayed; when you take away their breath, they die and return to their dust. When you send forth your Spirit, they are created, and you renew the face of the ground." Ps. 104:27-30
"All things were made through Him, and without Him was not anything made that was made. In Him was life, and the life was the light of men." John 1:3-4
"...and He upholds the universe by the word of His power..." Heb. 1:3
I know these things. In fact, I teach them to the ladies in my Christian Doctrine classes. But oh how my heart often forgets them; too often forgets them.
So...as God has recently changed my direction, I am asking Him to redefine the elements of my life for me. Once such element is this blog. I will be re-purposing it. In the past...it's had no real clear point...just a place for me to link up pictures for photo-challenges & such. I believe it is now going to become an outlet for personal thoughts. I know...how exciting!! Believe me, you do not have to read this if you don't want to :) I don't expect to gain a large readership this way. In fact, much of what I'll type...pertaining to "spiritual matters" often turns people off. If you feel that way, then no harm no foul. This blog probably isn't for you. I'm sure I'll still post pictures as I'm an avid photo-nut. But just realize that this is now going to be used primarily as "Carrie's avenue for expression of thought."
Truthfully, I'm excited about this shift in direction. I read this excerpt this morning. It's from a book I'm reading right now called Hudson Taylor's Spiritual Secrets. It completely fascinated me when I read it. And, honestly, it reminded me of how silly it is that I would ever argue with or distrust God and His plans for me. Surrendering my will isn't giving up...it's letting go to receive something better.
"'I never made a sacrifice,' said Hudson Taylor in later years, looking back over a life in which that element was certainly not lacking. But what he said was true, for the compensations were so real and lasting that he come to see that giving up is inevitably receiving, when one is dealing heart to heart with God."